Relationship

Relationship Gist: KPI’s Of A Right Dating Relationship

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Hello love,
How are you? Hope your week went well? Mine didn’t as a matter of fact, my working hours got increased to 12-14hours at no extra pay!!!! Please, let me know if you have a vacancy in your posh organisation. lol. I want to use this medium to congratulate a big part of shughar’s realm, Mr Olatona Seyifunmi aka genro who graduated(M.Sc) yesterday from the University of Manchester in flying colors; Shughar wishes you all the best. I believe that we will see more comments from you now that you have graduated. lol.

Today, I am continuing with my excerpts from a relationship program that held in my church (harvesters intl christian centre-HICC). This is the second post, you can read the first post here. I hope that you learn as much as I did. Please, enjoy. This post is only for mature and single minded people, btw.
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Key Performance Indicators(KPI’s) of A Right Dating/Courting Experience

  1. The person’s character: The aggregate features of the person
  2. Account of qualities or personalities of the person.
  3. You must have seen the person’s responses under multiple situations
  4. Explore their family and friends; we are products of our backgrounds.

You should always have a Marriage Expectation Inventory: These are the things to talk about and agree on before you tie the knot. Examples are:
a. Children: How many? Child planning
b. Money: How much can you spend without his/her knowledge and even consent?
c. Sex: Who initiates? Extreme sexual expectations.
d. Inlaws- Funding, visiting.
e. Work: To do or not?
f. Capital projects(rent, cars, etc): Sole contributor or partnership?

You should refrain from things that will make your spouse hide from you. These include; them not feeling safe with telling you secrets and referring to their poor background.

You should always place importance on INVESTing in every relationship. The acronym INVEST in this sense means

I-intimacy- (My next post will be about this. It is too long…you should subscribe so you won’t miss it)

N-necessitate- A woman’s number one need is security and a man’s number one need is honor. These are necessities and should not be played with.

V-value- Place value on what he/she places value on. If it is her mother, kindly place value. If it is his special mug, please place value too. Simple.

E-energy- For your relationship to work, there should be some energy spent.

S-sacrifice- Willingness to step out of your world to see your partner’s world.

T-trust- It is when you are completely exposed to each other. Trust is a choice. To maintain trust, you have to be careful of what you say to one another and of what others say to you. Don’t forget also that feelings are sacred and should be treated as such.

Notes:
• There are no real relationship problems, just human problems.
• Embrace the mentality of cost before you enter a relationship: eg. physical, emotional, financial, spiritual costs.
• If you try to endure any of the pains, the relationship will be short termed. You have to learn how to enjoy it/them.
• Sex spoils friendship which should be the bedrock of any relationship.
• Sex doesn’t allow for intimacy.
• Some people are not friends when they are married because the marriage was too soon.
• Wrong courtship experiences makes friendship in marriage non existent.

That’s all for today….. Thank you for reading. More on this next week. Kindly drop comments to ask questions or contribute below. Also, please share so that others can learn too.
Have a pleasant weekend darling. Shughar loves you.


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About the author / 

Patrick Jennifer

My name is Patrick Jennifer............ Talkative extraordinaire (aspiring OAP), Professional 'carer', Wanna-be writer, and I am sweetness personified.

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4 Comments

  1. chineze December 13, 2014 at 3:11 pm -  Reply

    We keep learning…dis is good.

  2. arnytah December 12, 2014 at 10:31 am -  Reply

    Some things are better left unsaid….wat d person doesn’t know won’t hurt them

  3. Genro December 12, 2014 at 8:53 am -  Reply

    One of the necessity of life is having relationships….we virtually can’t survive without it…but in the writers context….the first thing I tell anyone with relationship issues is that…relationships are unique…..they can be identical yet far different…..shughar pls when you decide to open up to your spouse about your SCARY secrets, do we stand the chance of losing them (spouses)?

    • shughar December 12, 2014 at 9:25 am -  Reply

      Yes,you do stand a chance of losing them. I always tell people to weigh the velocity of the secret with the personality of their spouse. Truth is, we always know if they can handle it or not but we still go ahead to tell them even we know that they can’t. It is usually the fear of them finding out on their own that makes people tell gory secrets. I understand that love should go with trust and to build that trust you should be able to tell your spouse anything. I also believe that some secrets should be left buried. For instance, I won’t want to hear that my spouse has killed someone in the past, I can’t live in fear.
      Your spouse may also be stupid enough to use those secrets against you.
      In summary, I’d advice that you tell scary secrets when you know that the person is mature enough to handle it well. Or when you know an equally scary secret of theirs.
      I hope I was able to answer your question dear. Thanks for asking.

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