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What am I about to do? No, this is not right…”But you have to”, said a voice in my head, it is the only way out. “No, it is not”, said another voice.”You do not have to do this, think about the consequences…things could go wrong”, said the calm, second voice. This battle went on and on in my head. Which voice do I succumb to? There is a maelstrom of emotions within me now, but I have to think fast. Time is ticking. I have to act fast…yes, I have to act fast before it is too late.

“Hey! Don’t go so fast. Wait up for me”. I turned back to see Timi walking briskly, trying to catch up with me. “What’s up Timz”, I asked. Timi is my boyfriend. I call him Timz for short. He is very handsome with a boyish grin. “Where are you headed”? He asked. “Uhmmm… I’m going to see Tarella, we have some assignments to complete”.” Okay, I just wanted to tell you there is an audition coming up next month…I don’t know if you would be interested” said Timi.

“I don’t want to go for another audition Timmmzzzzz”’, I whined. “Quronmaaaaaaa”! he retorted. I giggled a little. “You know you should keep’re pretty and smart, I know you will be picked”, he said. “Thank sweets, I’ll think about it”, I said with a smile showing off my cute dimples. “I’ll send you the details, ok?”.. “Fine”, I said ”gotta run now, talk to you later”. I hugged Timz and we parted ways.

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My name is Quronma. I know; weird right? Well there is a short story behind the name. My parents, Queen and Rolland decided to give their beautiful princess a special name. They took the first two letters of their names; Qu and Ro and added ‘nma’ meaning beautiful to it, and Quronma was formed! I am eighteen years old, a student, and an aspiring supermodel. Yes, I am pretty, smart, tall, and I have the body of a supermodel, but, I lack confidence. I have gone for several auditions but I never got to work for top modeling agencies. I was always told the same thing, “You’ve got the looks but you lack confidence”. I don’t know what to do anymore. Timz just told me about another audition. I don’t know if I should go…would I get rejected as usual? Who knows, this might just be my big break. I pondered on this until I got to Tarella’s room.

Timz sent me the details of the audition. E.Y.E, a top modeling agency was scouting for three models who would become supermodels. If I am picked, my dreams will finally come true! I thought. “Errrmmm…that is if you can scale through the auditions”, a voice in my head said. “Sure you can!”, said another voice. I really have to do something about these voices in my head I thought. But voice one is right, if I can scale through….. A very big ‘IF’.

I called timz later on that night. I told him I had thought about the audition and I have decided to try. “Whoa babe!”, he said excitedly. “I knew you would come around. Don’t worry, everything will be fine. I believe in you”. This brought tears to my eyes. “Thanks sweets..I will try not to let you down”, I said. We talked for some minutes and then I ended the call.

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Then the voices were back in my head. Voice 1: “Are you sure you want to do this”? Voice 2: “You can do this” this went on and on, and then, a thought slowly crept into my head… “Oh NO!”, said Voice 2. “That is a terrible idea”. “No, it’s not, it is a great idea”, said Voice 1. I listen to the voices argue in my head. This is going to be a long night, I thought…a very long night.

It is saturday morning and a week before the audition. I am getting even more nervous as days go by. It has been four days since Timz told me about the audition. I told him I would do it but I am not sure if I want to anymore; I don’t want to make a fool of myself on that day. Voice 1: “Remember you have a plan, it should work”. Voice 2: “Don’t do it, you don’t have to’. Voice 1: “Oh yes, you do….infact, you need to”. “I need to…that’s right, I do need to”, I said out loud. Voice 2: “You have never done something like this before…it is unlike you”. Voice 1: “There is a first time for everything you know”.  A call jolted me out of my thoughts. It was Timz, he was ready.

‘Hey guys!, sorry I kept both of you waiting..’, Tarella said to Timz and me. ‘Well, we are used to it; you take eons to get ready’, I said. ‘Haba! Eons??!!!…it’s just like a few years’, Tarella said while giggling. We all laughed.  We left school and headed for the movies. Timz, Tarella and I hang out once in a while together, and it’s always fun all the way. After dropping Tarella off at her hostel, Timz drove me to mine. ‘So, how are you holding up?’ he said with so much concern in his voice. ‘Well, I’m ok’, I lied. I was far from ok. Infact, I was trying to be calm because I didn’t want to bother Timz. I was losing it..all these voices in my head telling me what to do and what not to do… If only he knew…

As I lay on my bed, I decide to work up a strategy. If things go as planned, it should all fall into place. Yes… hopefully, things will go as planned. As I ruminate on this, a smile slowly creeps into my face….

It’s the day of the audition. We were told ten girls would be selected to proceed to the next round where three winners will emerge. The judges introduced themselves; two men and a lady. Mr Kamsi Diggs was perfect, I thought… Now I just have to play my cards well. I’m waiting for my name to be called, and with each minute that passes, I get even more nervous…not just because I have to face a panel of judges, but also because I was afraid things won’t work out as planned. Finally, it got to my turn. When I entered the room, I was asked my full name which I gave them. Then, I was asked to walk across the room. As I sashayed across the room, I shot a glance at Mr Kamsi and he winked at me. ‘Oh yes!, contact has been established’, I thought while I smiled to him showing off my lovely dimples. All I have to do now is hope he falls for the bait….

It was time to announce the top ten models. My heart was thumping as I sat down listening to the names of the selected girls. Seven names have been called and the girls were ecstatic. I waited with fingers crossed hoping to hear my name…the eighth girl called was Kioja (she’s really pretty I might add), the ninth girl was DeeDee (her name is actually Ndidi, and she ‘forms’ a lot). ‘Oh well, I guess its not my lucky day, maybe next time’, I thought. ….’And finally, Quronma!’…I was shocked to hear Mr. Kamsi announce my name. The shock gradually turned into excitement; I made it!….

The judges shook us to congratulate us. All the while, I kept glancing at Mr. Kamsi and then finally, he winked at me. When he shook me, the handshake lingered a little more than normal, then he smiled at me. Then I felt it!, not butterflies in my stomach, but the complimentary card he placed in my hand. Now its time for step two of my plan…

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“What am I about to do? No, this isn’t right…’But you have to’, said a voice (voice 1) in my head, it’s the only way out. No it’s not, said the other voice (voice 2). ‘You don’t have to this, think about the consequences…things could go wrong’, said the calm voice. This battle went on and on in my head. Which voice do I succumb to? There’s a maelstrom of emotions within me now..but I have to think fast..time is ticking..I have to act fast…yes, I have to act fast before its too late…” I pick up my phone and dial the number.

Finally, the D-day has arrived. Ten of us lined up before the judges. The tension in the air was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. I stood there staring at my toes while listening to Mr. Kamsi talk about how we all did well but it was sad they had to pick only three. “Enough of the talk already! just tell us the three winners”, I thought. “I’m going to call the names of the three models who are going to join E.Y.E and become the supermodel they’ve always wanted to be”. I looked up to hear the names. My heart was pounding, I could hear it beat in my ears. “And they are….. DeeDee….. Kioja and finally…..

It’s been a year since I started working with PHOENIX modelling agency. Yea, I know what you’re thinking. I wasn’t picked by E.Y.E. I couldn’t go through with my plan. I met with Mr. Kamsi as planned but while I was with him, I realized it took a lot of confidence for me to meet with him (I was confident after all! ). I just had to search deep within to find it. I couldn’t afford to make a mistake I would regret forever; I had a wonderful friend/ boyfriend who kept on encouraging me, I couldn’t let him down. So, I may have lost a superdeal with E.Y.E, but I gained my confidence which is even more important. Now, I can be whoever I want to be. I don’t need anyone to achieve my dreams, I just need ME.


“Be confident; if you fail, try again and yet again. Someday, you will reach your destination and then, you will smile, yes! I dare say you will smile” – Q

I harassed someone to write for me and I was sent this story. The person is not a writer but I love what this story denotes. Thank you dear for writing. Kindly drop a comment and let us know what you think. Thank you. Have a splendid and fruitful week…..mwah!!!!!

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About the author / 

Patrick Jennifer

My name is Patrick Jennifer............ Talkative extraordinaire (aspiring OAP), Professional 'carer', Wanna-be writer, and I am sweetness personified.

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  1. theshaione September 10, 2014 at 12:10 pm -  Reply

    You know, this issue is quite pertinent especially when u consider that at one point or the other everyone has suffered from cold feet and the fluttering butterflies in the stomach.

    A very nice piece.

    I enjoyed it.

    • shughar September 12, 2014 at 10:15 am -  Reply

      Hmmmmmm….coming from you, this is huge! lol…. Thank you very much

  2. elsieisy September 8, 2014 at 10:54 pm -  Reply

    thanks dear. We all need a lil nit of confidence to pull through. Be confident even when making mistakes and accept correction with humility

    • shughar September 9, 2014 at 10:22 am -  Reply

      i love “be confident even when making mistakes”. walai, your confidence can help you sell those mistakes. Thanks dear

  3. femi fragile September 8, 2014 at 5:32 pm -  Reply

    This one is for me.. Thanks shughar

    • shughar September 9, 2014 at 11:43 am -  Reply

      You are welcome darling… thank you too

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