Mr Nice Guy.
The title of this post had been ringing in my head for a little bit. I didn’t even bother to start writing because I was battling myself over how to start and what angle to approach the topic from. So I started arguing with myself. In my head, I divided myself into two. Now we’re both me but one was masculine and the other was feminine. Funny right? Yeah. I play with myself like that. No pun intended.
Anyway, I kept going back and forth with myself (and for some reason, the female me seemed to really be kicking the male me’s ass) and then at some point, she said “You better don’t be a nice guy. Nice guys get friend-zoned”. That was it. She had won. K.O. Sugar Ray Robinson had killed Jimmy Doyle. Why was this line so fatal? I’ll explain.
You see, earlier this year, I had met this really nice girl. Oyinbo pepper. Good looking. Nice. Fun. You know, she just seemed really sweet. Anyway, one day we were hanging out and we were talking. We normally talk about almost any and everything. That day, it seemed like the topic had something to do with love, crushes, attraction, relationships and the likes. Let’s imagine the show had a I Know All The Rules About Love segment and this segment lasted for about 30 minutes. Right? Right. I mean, it was a fun conversation. We went back and forth about what we individually believed should be the right way to approach certain issues. This had gone on for about 26 minutes and then she asked, “Would you like to eat anything?”. I was starving at the time so I agreed. She asked what I wanted and I said anything that was easy for her to make. This indecision of mine opened up another discussion which went on for about three minutes because I honestly didn’t want her to have to prepare anything stressful. I mean, noodles would have been just fine. So now, we’re in the 29th minute and then as a response to something I had said her reply was “You better don’t be a nice guy. Nice guys get friend-zoned”. I remember that comment left me pretty speechless for a few moments. After a while, I realized I had a billion and one questions to ask her but then in the immortal words of Queen Elsa, I decided to let it go.
So while I was having this discussion with myself, I K.O’d myself with that. Then I started thinking. So who’s a nice guy? Is it advisable to be a nice guy? Is it good? Is it bad? Is it boring for the women? Do they find it refreshing? And then the biggest question was (probably still is) do you really get friend zoned as a nice guy?
Ask a woman. Any woman. Even if she’s a stranger. Just ask, what are the things you like in a man? Or ask her to describe her ideal man. I’m sure that more times than not, the word “nice” as a description might be heard. Maybe even more than once in the same speech by the same girl. If this is true, then how come it’s a girl (not unlike the other girls I asked) that said “You better don’t be a nice guy. Nice guys get friend-zoned”? Is this just her opinion or is she speaking for most women? Do you want a nice guy? Do you think and say “I want a nice guy” but then you zone all the nice guys that come your way? When you meet a nice guy, would you honestly keep him around?
So lets say as a woman, you’re just looking to play around and have fun. That’s probably fine. There’s probably no need to put too much thought into that. But if you’re looking to be in a proper relationship with a guy, are you sure you don’t want a nice guy? Think about it.
I don’t want this post to be too long. Not because I don’t have more to say, but I don’t want you to read too long and relegate the important questions to the background. Girls usually like jerks. So I’ve been told many times. I can probably confirm this because girls generally don’t like me and I think that’s because I’m not a jerk. (If you know me personally, kindly refrain from commenting on that, LOL.) The jerks are fun. I’m pretty sure they are. Yes. I’m just speculating here. But when your boyfriend gets really jerky and says something so politely rude in front of your family, you just might have a rethink. So, why wait till then? Why make it a rule to friend zone every nice guy you meet?
Why make it a rule to only hang out with jerks? Are you doing this because its what your friends said? If it is, are you sure that deep down in your heart, you agree with them? Maybe someday I’ll weigh in on these things in precise details. Until then, think on these things. Let them marinate in your mind for a while. When you finally decide to ditch the jerks, come say hi to papi.
Peace, love and a kiss on the forehead,
QUOTE: “I think the average guy thinks they’re pro-woman, just because they think they’re a nice guy and someone has told them that they’re awesome. But the truth is far from it”– Junot Diaz
Good morning darling.
I am totally delighted to post the first actual post after the hiatus. Many thanks to my gee Juke for this. Truth is I read this post and it made plenty sense to me. Seeing as I am a zonal manager, I can totally relate -_-
Now, your opinion(s) on this might defer from mine so I’d like to read yours.
Ladies, answer the questions he asked. Do you agree with his conclusion? Do you friend zone nice guys? Do you want a nice guy as your partner?
Guys, are you a nice guy? Do you agree that being a nice guy is a free bus ticket to her friend zone? If you are not a nice guy, why?
Thanks to those of you that took time out yesterday to comment and answer my questions. God bless you. Have a splendid day. Please, don’t forget to subscribe and share this post.