Opinions, shughary Tales

Mr ‘nice’ guy

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Mr Nice Guy.

The title of this post had been ringing in my head for a little bit. I didn’t even bother to start writing because I was battling myself over how to start and what angle to approach the topic from. So I started arguing with myself. In my head, I divided myself into two. Now we’re both me but one was masculine and the other was feminine. Funny right? Yeah. I play with myself like that. No pun intended.

Anyway, I kept going back and forth with myself (and for some reason, the female me seemed to really be kicking the male me’s ass) and then at some point, she said “You better don’t be a nice guy. Nice guys get friend-zoned”. That was it. She had won. K.O. Sugar Ray Robinson had killed Jimmy Doyle. Why was this line so fatal? I’ll explain.

You see, earlier this year, I had met this really nice girl. Oyinbo pepper. Good looking. Nice. Fun. You know, she just seemed really sweet. Anyway, one day we were hanging out and we were talking. We normally talk about almost any and everything. That day, it seemed like the topic had something to do with love, crushes, attraction, relationships and the likes. Let’s imagine the show had a I Know All The Rules About Love segment and this segment lasted for about 30 minutes. Right? Right. I mean, it was a fun conversation. We went back and forth about what we individually believed should be the right way to approach certain issues. This had gone on for about 26 minutes and then she asked, “Would you like to eat anything?”. I was starving at the time so I agreed. She asked what I wanted and I said anything that was easy for her to make. This indecision of mine opened up another discussion which went on for about three minutes because I honestly didn’t want her to have to prepare anything stressful. I mean, noodles would have been just fine. So now, we’re in the 29th minute and then as a response to something I had said her reply was “You better don’t be a nice guy. Nice guys get friend-zoned”. I remember that comment left me pretty speechless for a few moments. After a while, I realized I had a billion and one questions to ask her but then in the immortal words of Queen Elsa, I decided to let it go.

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So while I was having this discussion with myself, I K.O’d myself with that. Then I started thinking. So who’s a nice guy? Is it advisable to be a nice guy? Is it good? Is it bad? Is it boring for the women? Do they find it refreshing? And then the biggest question was (probably still is) do you really get friend zoned as a nice guy?

Ask a woman. Any woman. Even if she’s a stranger. Just ask, what are the things you like in a man? Or ask her to describe her ideal man. I’m sure that more times than not, the word “nice” as a description might be heard. Maybe even more than once in the same speech by the same girl. If this is true, then how come it’s a girl (not unlike the other girls I asked) that said “You better don’t be a nice guy. Nice guys get friend-zoned”? Is this just her opinion or is she speaking for most women? Do you want a nice guy? Do you think and say “I want a nice guy” but then you zone all the nice guys that come your way? When you meet a nice guy, would you honestly keep him around?

nice1 So lets say as a woman, you’re just looking to play around and have fun. That’s probably fine. There’s probably no need to put too much thought into that. But if you’re looking to be in a proper relationship with a guy, are you sure you don’t want a nice guy? Think about it.

I don’t want this post to be too long. Not because I don’t have more to say, but I don’t want you to read too long and relegate the important questions to the background. Girls usually like jerks. So I’ve been told many times. I can probably confirm this because girls generally don’t like me and I think that’s because I’m not a jerk. (If you know me personally, kindly refrain from commenting on that, LOL.) The jerks are fun. I’m pretty sure they are. Yes. I’m just speculating here. But when your boyfriend gets really jerky and says something so politely rude in front of your family, you just might have a rethink. So, why wait till then? Why make it a rule to friend zone every nice guy you meet?

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Why make it a rule to only hang out with jerks? Are you doing this because its what your friends said? If it is, are you sure that deep down in your heart, you agree with them? Maybe someday I’ll weigh in on these things in precise details. Until then, think on these things. Let them marinate in your mind for a while. When you finally decide to ditch the jerks, come say hi to papi.

LOL.

Peace, love and a kiss on the forehead,

Juke.
@iamnotjuke

QUOTE: “I think the average guy thinks they’re pro-woman, just because they think they’re a nice guy and someone has told them that they’re awesome. But the truth is far from it”– Junot Diaz


Good morning darling.
I am totally delighted to post the first actual post after the hiatus. Many thanks to my gee Juke for this. Truth is I read this post and it made plenty sense to me. Seeing as I am a zonal manager, I can totally relate -_-

Now, your opinion(s) on this might defer from mine so I’d like to read yours.
Ladies, answer the questions he asked. Do you agree with his conclusion? Do you friend zone nice guys? Do you want a nice guy as your partner?
Guys, are you a nice guy? Do you agree that being a nice guy is a free bus ticket to her friend zone? If you are not a nice guy, why?

Thanks to those of you that took time out yesterday to comment and answer my questions. God bless you. Have a splendid day. Please, don’t forget to subscribe and share this post.

Much love,
Shughar

Don't keep it all to yourself.... Share some sweetness!! ;)

About the author / 

Patrick Jennifer

My name is Patrick Jennifer............ Talkative extraordinaire (aspiring OAP), Professional 'carer', Wanna-be writer, and I am sweetness personified.

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9 Comments

  1. shughar May 14, 2015 at 7:38 pm -  Reply

    Someone said this on my bbm. I thought to share.

    “Thank God I stopped being nice long ago. Girls should stop all this “I don’t like you that way” syndrome. Na wetin dey cause what they call heart break be that. Tell them to be nice to themselves by being nice to those who are nice to them aka Mr Nice Guy.”

  2. Ral May 13, 2015 at 3:09 pm -  Reply

    Nice guys get frieend-zoned cos dey always remain cool even wen dey r angry. I personally prefer to have a good man to a nice guy. A good man can be a bad boy (wich makes for a fun and super rshp). A nice guy will bore me at some point bcos we will probably never argue(since he’ll always let me have my way as I can be bossy) or have fights and den I rili wdnt know his whole character. One day when he snaps, frm all dat bottled-up pressure u might never recover.

    • shughar May 15, 2015 at 8:54 am -  Reply

      My best comment yet!!!
      I totally agree with this.
      Thanks girl

  3. DR Nwax May 13, 2015 at 9:19 am -  Reply

    Most girls don’t know what they want same goes also for guys. In fact, most peeps don’t know what they really need, so they end up going for what they think they want. Most times due to peer pressure, just to be seen as cool and feel among, they end up denying themselves what will really make them happy and give them PEACE(ambient REST OF MIND). Some do it out of selfish reasons, dangling false hopes in their faces and the Zonal victims will be too blind to see beyond the false display of affection. Oh well, such is life. If u find yourself in d friendzone do well to avoid becoming familyzoned; ur like a brother or father to me or petzoned; ur like a PET to me! Shet! These zones are real!! Be warned!!

    • shughar May 15, 2015 at 8:54 am -  Reply

      Hmmmm. This is deep. Honestly, people really don’t know what they need. You are very correct. Thanks dear

  4. Korlahjor May 13, 2015 at 9:12 am -  Reply

    Hmmmm…. Whoever said u r not a jerk is deceiving u a lot….I have been zoned so many times cos am all nice, funny and too friendly….so being too nice is totally a NO NO 4 me…. Bt I wud prefer if girls jst stopped zoning all guys dat come deir way…keep friends bt not besties….

    • shughar May 15, 2015 at 8:52 am -  Reply

      l.m.a.o
      Well, the author is the one that said the jerk ish. You also know that I am not a jerk. hehehe.
      You are not nice, stop deceiving yourself. We can’t stop zoning when these boys won’t respect the friendship biko.

  5. Daisy May 13, 2015 at 9:01 am -  Reply

    I believe younger females prefer to av d ‘jerks’ as partners buh as we grow older, we realise that d nice guys are d real ish! As for me I prefer a ‘nice guy’ cos it’s less drama with a nice guy.

    • shughar May 15, 2015 at 8:51 am -  Reply

      Word!!!!
      wait o….but I know that you like drama o. lol

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