Opinions, Ramblings

Love; What is love?

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Hey hunnays! How are you. I am pretty unhappy at the moment, hulkshare has decided to be a pant. Today should be for audio posts but I couldn’t upload it. I promise to find a solution by next week. Thank you…. To my new subscribers, thank you plenty…..You won’t regret it! If you haven’t there is still time to join the wagon 😉
Today’s post is deep o, I can’t wait to read your opinions….

I don’t believe in love.

At the budding age 16, or around there somewhere, the movies, TV series and a host of parents sell us girls the ideology that love is a bed of roses. If you do this, you will get that. If you cook well, your husband will always be happy with you. If you know how clean and keep a home, you won’t have a single issue in your household your man will love you for the rest of his days on the earth.
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He will never look at another woman, but (this is the big one), if you lose your virginity, you lose dignity and respect in the eye of the society as well as the opposite sex. You will never find true love. No man will value you.

For those girls bold enough to go the trial and error route, a lot of mistakes are made, but at least they reach a point where they are convinced to act and behave a certain way irrespective of these preconceived notions. They make a choice. I feel they are liberated early, with a lot of wounds though.images (12)

But for most, adapting to the stipulated conduct recommended for the girl child by society and our parents is the road often travelled, after all, if mummy said it, then it must be true. Even when the truth is starring them in the face. So we struggle all our lives to learn to cook, clean, shut up and listen and keep ourselves hoping for Mr. Right who will only have eyes for you…see wash!images (14)

Is it just me, or have you noticed the “eat your cake and have it method” the male clan often project?

They marry you, but are hell bent and keeping the side dishes. Some hide it from you, some couldn’t careless, even after you applied all the rules in the book. In fact, the delicious meal that you spent hours cooking is what he loathes the most about you. The house that you spent time, money and energy to creatively design and organize is the one place he prefers to avoid for as long as possible. Trust me at that point it will always look like you are in the movies.

You search within you, trying to figure out if you are the problem in the relationship. You clean harder, cook better, but all is in vain. So you are forced to turn back to the movies and the parents to ask, please what love is really.images (8)

To tell you that I have the answer would be a bloody lie. I only know this, love often times has a lot to do with what you feel, rather than what you can do. It goes against rational thinking. Philosophers and scholars are still trying to figure it out, as I am too.
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My name is Tope and quite frankly, I don’t believe in love.
Written by @toperants
She blogs at www.toperants.com

N.B- We did not say you should lose your virginity oooooooo! Ehen. lol.


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Patrick Jennifer

My name is Patrick Jennifer............ Talkative extraordinaire (aspiring OAP), Professional 'carer', Wanna-be writer, and I am sweetness personified.

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  1. Yemzine July 24, 2014 at 1:37 pm -  Reply

    Good write up!

    • shughar July 24, 2014 at 2:45 pm -  Reply

      Thank you dear

  2. elsieisy July 23, 2014 at 2:12 pm -  Reply

    Me I believe in love o. That others have it bad doesn’t mean it will be same for me.

    Love will definitely find me o

    • shughar July 23, 2014 at 2:19 pm -  Reply

      Hehehehe…. as it should be #teamRomantic! it must find us oooo

  3. Jaymarie July 23, 2014 at 12:52 pm -  Reply

    I understand where she’s coming from, and honestly speaking I think the reason I’m such a romantic is because I’m chasing what I’ve never seen in reality, love might not be a Long thing but love……I think is a choice

    • shughar July 23, 2014 at 1:47 pm -  Reply

      LOOOOOOOL……………….abeg, come back to earth with your chasing o….. I love how you think it is a choice tho. Na to find person when wan make the same choice with you.

  4. OkpaniGoch July 23, 2014 at 12:32 pm -  Reply

    Very good piece. Some might view this as a mini feminist rant, especially the intro, however, from an objective male stand point, the “system” is and has always been in our favour, heavily. Glad things are changing and people are becoming more open minded.

    • shughar July 23, 2014 at 1:45 pm -  Reply

      Bless you jare…. you have said the truth. thank you

  5. Toby July 23, 2014 at 9:39 am -  Reply

    The way to a man’s heart is thru his stomach or so they say.. I will chop ur sweet beans n loathe u simultaneously.
    Keep d house tidy and arranged, organise d home.. Well neat kreb I gbadun but then again, I can pay a cleaner who can do it and do it well @ that..
    What n what not to do to keep ur man varies with the man and his preferences, some stereotypes still hold but, I 4 sure will choose my PS3 & guitar over any food so don’t count so much on that food.

    I dare say from observations on family friends and relatives, man wey wan stay house go stay house, the lady will still put in necessary efforts tho’ but shld d hubby do “side dishes” after all d spirited efforts, she shldnt think momma was utterly wrong.

    As for love, na long thing.

    • shughar July 23, 2014 at 11:34 am -  Reply

      Gbam!!! “man wey wan stay house go stay house” exactly! I love that this comment is from a guy. Not sure I agree about love being a ‘long thing’ but I can relate. Thank you very much for your honesty

  6. femi July 23, 2014 at 8:51 am -  Reply

    Looks like this is for the girls…. But then, love? What is it? I think defining it will make it lose its essence, cos different people will come with diff definitions. I will say Love is whatever you choose to call it.. Love is Love, abi?

    • shughar July 23, 2014 at 12:00 pm -  Reply

      it is not for girls jor. lol…….nice one.”love is whatever you choose to call it”

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