Letter to my n(ex)t

37 17

Hey people,how are y’all? I read a post somewhere with this title and though hey, why not do mine (I am not a thief o -_-)….enjoy.

Hey darling,
I actually hope you’d read this before you even ask me out. I think I should make our relationship easy before it even begins. I just want to give you a few guidelines so that everything would be just fine.
First of all, I hope you have read my post ‘50 shades of Shughar’. That pretty much summarizes me; at least it tells the basics. Lol. That was about me, this time I want it to be all about you. Sweetheart, hope you like reading o! If you don’t like reading yet, please start trying. You have to read my posts and comment on them; positively or negatively. You have to support me and what I do na.
Sweets, please don’t call me ‘baby’ I already have four important ‘babies’ in my life. The fifth should be my child. Everyone calls everyone baby,b,bae,babe,boo etc. Please, be romantic (yes, I am a romantic). I want to be called something different. It should be something my friends would be jealous of o.lols.
Errrrm, I am going to apologize for something before hand. Thing is, I am not as caring and loving as I used to be. It is not my fault o, a couple of things made me this way. I promise to become more caring and loving, though. I just need you to guide me through that path one more time because, I have lost my way.
I love my mother o, and I am sure you love yours too. I am also sure that our mothers love us too. Dear, please do not let your love for her turn into an addiction. It is not cute when a guy is a “mama’s boy” -_-. Most importantly, please ask your family what tribe you are allowed to love from! I don’t want to love fall in love with you and all of a sudden your family would start saying rubbish. I cannot shout so please, confirm.
Hon, I learnt from past experiences that people need their space sometimes. I am not saying you should be in another state or country o, I am simply saying I don’t have to see u 7/7 days in a week. Abeg, let me miss you small. That does not mean that we should not call and chat all day o. lols. This space of mine also involves other people. My friends now, both boys and girls shouldn’t change because of you. I have also learnt that boyfriends come and go but friends stay forever. I would refer you to read my post ‘just because………………e no mean say’.
The next thing is jealousy! Now, jealousy is cute and all that but please, do not be an extremist!!! I am sure you know most of my friends are guys now so don’t start sulking when they call or when we hang out abeg. You can’t be the only friend I have na…..I would definitely get tired someday. Don’t worry ehn, I’ll make sure I reduce the attention I give to them so that you won’t be uncomfortable. You should also know that I call a lot of people pet names, it doesn’t mean anything o!
Yes! Another very important thing is your relationship with God. I cannot say I’m a strong Christian so please, help me get better. Let us grow in God’s love and salvation together. This would make my mother love you more too. Lol.
My dear, I like talking o….hmm, I can talk for Africa, walai. I am telling you now so that when I start talking, you won’t get tired. Lol. Actually, I’m telling you now so that you won’t keep quiet all the time. I’m actually a good listener so I’d love it if you talked too. I can’t be the one making noise all the time na. Please, don’t be a stiff fellow, life is too short. Play, jump, dance, sing with me even if you are not good at doing them. It just makes everyone lively and happy too.
I cannot think of any other thing I’d want the public to know so the rest I would tell you in camera *wink*. Please, just manage and understand me and we would be just fine. I’m not perfect but I believe I try my best. The most important thing of all is, if you do not plan to stay do not apply. Trial and Error is not something I want to do again at allllll. Also, I don’t want the two letters in the bracket (of the post title) to apply to you.
Thank you for your anticipated co-operation. God bless you.

Much love,



That’s all folks 😀 Kindly comment, share and most importantly, click on the follow button. Thank u plenty :* :* :*

P.S- Thank you Omokehinde for noticing my plenty abbreviations. I am grateful.


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About the author / 

Patrick Jennifer

My name is Patrick Jennifer............ Talkative extraordinaire (aspiring OAP), Professional 'carer', Wanna-be writer, and I am sweetness personified.

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  1. Toby July 23, 2014 at 9:22 am -  Reply

    This ur list is plenty oo, r u sure there is a Mr. Right that can tick all or most of the boxes? And that tribe thingy is just a thing of major concern to me @ d moment but I’m just sipping Kermit’s tea n hoping for d best

    . Quick question, one that sustains a good n stable relationship, can same one be (assumed to be )capable of sustaining a good marriage?

    • shughar July 23, 2014 at 11:56 am -  Reply

      I am very sure that there is; I am not asking for impossible things after all :D….. Let me help you boil more hot water for that tea. lol.
      Well, your question depends on a lot. For instance, having a good and stable ‘distance relationship’ does not mean that getting married and living together will be good and stable too. While dating, a lot of people tolerate, pretend and all that but change after they get married. Relationships are supposed to be tests in preparation for the actual exam(marriage) and so you are supposed to take corrections when you fail in the test, so that the exam will be better. But you and I know that the lecturer might decide to be a pant and set questions from his village as against the syllabus. I believe you should always do your best to be the best bf/gf to your partner, that way any quanta lies in your partner’s hand not yours :) After a couple is engaged, the real dating starts.most people lower their guards then and you will know their true colors and decide if you have what it takes. I hope I have been able to answer your question successfully.

  2. Genro November 28, 2013 at 12:54 am -  Reply

    Well I will like to apply but if two of us come get the same condition nko? How e go be?

    • shughar November 28, 2013 at 1:04 am -  Reply

      Errrrrrrrm,d conditions go still make sense

  3. Nsofor Engee November 27, 2013 at 5:48 pm -  Reply

    Very frank and FUNNY! Liked the whole informal and playful setting to aVERY SERIOUS matter. Lol. I’m very impressed. Please keep it up. Would read more of your post any day any time. Two thunbs up!

    • shughar November 27, 2013 at 8:12 pm -  Reply

      Thank u very much darling….I really appreciate. I also saw that you followed me………bless!

  4. Anonymous November 27, 2013 at 11:08 am -  Reply

    U suit me baby. How can I apply?

    • shughar November 27, 2013 at 6:33 pm -  Reply

      U called me baby……u r nt eligible again!lols

  5. Rejoice November 27, 2013 at 10:12 am -  Reply

    Lol!! This is hilarious. Okay the part where you get to give other guys pet names and attention is unacceptable!!! Take time oh!!! Lol!!!

    • shughar November 27, 2013 at 1:06 pm -  Reply

      ah ahn na….don’t be stingy -_-. there are enough names to go round 😀

  6. X November 27, 2013 at 1:23 am -  Reply

    im sure he’l b all dt and do all dt,nyc 1 dear.kip writin.

    • shughar November 27, 2013 at 1:05 pm -  Reply

      thank uuuuu………amin

  7. omokehinde November 26, 2013 at 10:00 pm -  Reply

    Hmmm , nice and yet creative ….. Might I apply ? Hehe *winks* I can be ur next , notice no bracket ooooo .lol

    • shughar November 26, 2013 at 10:13 pm -  Reply

      Thank uuuu……well, U definitely read so that’s a plus…. (•͡.̮ ~͡)

  8. tholu November 26, 2013 at 7:38 pm -  Reply

    What a letter?! It is obvious that this girl is not ready for a serious relationship. Anyway, I wiah her all the best because only Jesus can conform to the image she is painting.

    • shughar November 26, 2013 at 7:52 pm -  Reply

      Errrrrm,please which part are u talking about biko? If as a guy you are saying this then I wonder the kind of man you are.
      Thank u for wishing me the best
      P.S-u should up ur game,bruv

      • daizyfuentes fuentes January 21, 2014 at 2:02 pm -  Reply

        lmao, nawa oooooooooooo

      • shughar January 21, 2014 at 3:11 pm -  Reply

        i tire o @daisy

    • elsieisy November 26, 2013 at 11:29 pm -  Reply

      I’m confused here. Did you read the same thing I read? Or you posted the wrong comment? :s

      • shughar November 26, 2013 at 11:42 pm -  Reply

        Abeg,help me ask o.I’m more confused than u fa

  9. Juke November 26, 2013 at 6:36 pm -  Reply

    See guidelines. Na wa o. U don chase am already.

    • shughar November 26, 2013 at 6:50 pm -  Reply

      (˘̯˘ ) if e don go then e no get levo. I jst wan make e life better.

  10. Anonymous November 26, 2013 at 6:05 pm -  Reply

    So i suck at reading, haven’t completed a book since Usher’s Confessions album…dancing isn’t one of my best traits, sadly i’ll have to pass. For a nickname i’ll have to cook up one, and it will be awesome :)

    • shughar November 26, 2013 at 6:43 pm -  Reply

      All dse anonymous people sef!!!lols. Thank u o,I’m waiting for the name

  11. Anonymous November 26, 2013 at 1:43 pm -  Reply

    Lovely write up,Hmmmmm……letter to ur n(EX)t,any Letters for the leTters in the bracket?lol,and the babys you have,what’s the criteria to kick one of them out and become one,just asking,

    • shughar November 26, 2013 at 1:58 pm -  Reply

      hehehe….no letters for the bracket letters….no need. none of them can be kicked out o, they are VIPs. I can’t tell an anonymous person how to become one o 😛

  12. Fortune Ebiala November 26, 2013 at 1:29 pm -  Reply

    Hmmm…so nyc

    • shughar November 26, 2013 at 1:56 pm -  Reply

      tnk u dear

  13. Faisal Adamu (^,^)/ November 26, 2013 at 1:15 pm -  Reply

    *sigh* Na wa o! Anything else? Like ATM pin, and so on :D…Hahaha! Jokes apart, this is emotional honest stuff. keep it up. 😉

    • shughar November 26, 2013 at 1:54 pm -  Reply

      loooooooool. nothing like that o. thank u love

  14. elsieisy November 26, 2013 at 1:06 pm -  Reply

    LooooL. “Most importantly, please ask your family what tribe you are allowed to love from! I don’t want to love fall in love with you and all of a sudden your family would start saying rubbish. I cannot shout so please, confirm.” LMAO. This is very funny but very very important. Looool. For real tho, a guy had that as an excuse sometimes back. “You are igbo, my mum will die if I get married to you” bullCrap!

    • shughar November 26, 2013 at 1:14 pm -  Reply

      as in ehn!!!It has happened to me twice so I know what I’m saying…..lie lie boys!

      • daizyfuentes fuentes January 21, 2014 at 2:00 pm -  Reply


  15. Alonge Itse November 26, 2013 at 12:54 pm -  Reply

    can we submit application forms? Lol. Gr8 post.

    • shughar November 26, 2013 at 1:13 pm -  Reply

      no jor. my hands are full already.hehehe…..tnk u love

  16. Arnytah November 26, 2013 at 12:45 pm -  Reply

    Lol… I hp he’s reading this…

    • shughar November 26, 2013 at 1:12 pm -  Reply

      yes ooooo. i hope so

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