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Koala

Like father, like son
Not too long ago, there was a renewed uproar about the salary and allowances of NASS members; Nigerians were calling for a slash in their pay, since the economy is not doing so good. One intelligent person reminded us that the problem is actually allowances, and not the salary. We had allowances such as sitting allowance, furniture allowance, wardrobe allowance, fighting allowance, standing allowance, eating allowance, concubine allowance… Outrageous sums that will leave your mouth permanently ajar.

The dust was yet to settle, when the good people of Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, decided to be in the news for a pathetic reason: the SUG (Student Union Government) proposed a budget of over ONE MILLION NAIRA for phone calls. Ahn Ahn! Una wan do heaven-hell-earth conference call?!!!
When students decide to allocate such amount for just phone calls, we do not need to ask what NASS members need bogus allowances for.

We have heard of cases where the SUG President runs the union like the governor of a state; with full convoy and escorts. The violence that occurs during elections (both SUG and NANS), is a case for another day.
There really isn’t much difference between what happens at the top and in schools. Someone might call it ‘microcosm’

Lagos Na Wa!
Some days ago, Naija Twitter was agog with the story of a lady whose car was bashed and the man who did it was asking to speak with her husband, so he can explain man-to-man. What a story! Trust Naija to come up with various addendum and angles to the story. Feminists had something to say. Misogynists were not left out. Thrill seekers also had a filled day.

I wonder what he intended telling her ‘husband’. Does the fact that she’s a woman mean she’s not a road user? If the husband is a soldier nko?
We all know Lagos is a no-chill zone when it comes to driving, it’s a scratch-me-I-scratch you. Many cars carry yellow marks on their bumpers especially. Shaky side mirrors mean you drive in areas where okadas and kekes are in abundance. It’s just madness.

Anyway, dear readers, please welcome tankers, trucks and trailers back to Lagos roads.

September to remember
The koala refuses to be drawn into the debate about the Senate President’s wahala. I just kent believe that in this country, the INCUMBENT number three will sit in the dock! Ahdunbilivit! However this plays out, it’s going to be quite interesting. It’s something for the history books and maybe Nollywood.

The Olu of Warri, Chief Deinde Fernandez and Yeye Oodua also changed address permanently in this month. The koala commiserates with their loved ones and sycophants alike. Not forgetting Bob Dee who happens to know them well.

-Koala


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May all our good wishes come true. Have a splendid celebration darlings. Mwah!!!

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About the author / 

Patrick Jennifer

My name is Patrick Jennifer............ Talkative extraordinaire (aspiring OAP), Professional 'carer', Wanna-be writer, and I am sweetness personified.

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