Eko o ni baje

Eko O Ni Baje: No joy in this Zanga

3 14

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Ina Kwana?
Hope you are fine darling… hope your day went well? Too many funny things happened to me between monday and today walai. Let me back track and tell you the story.

I usually don’t enter BRT buses for one simple reason; I hate queues. So I would rather pay five times more and enter a regular bus or cab than stand on a BRT queue. I have not entered BRT buses up to five times in my entire life sef. My colleague managed to convince me to enter a BRT bus on monday and agreed because he was going to be on the same bus. We got to the bus stop, got tickets, stayed on the queue but unfortunately the bus got filled up before it got to our turn. We eventually had to wait for the next bus. While we were waiting, three girls/ladies/females came to stand in front of the queue instead of going to the back to join it.

My colleague and I started talking about how people jump queues and all that. As we were talking, an elderly man behind us politely asked the sisis why they weren’t at the back. One of them just turned to look at the man, eyed him wella and continued her discussion with her hommie. I was just laughing. After a while, the guy that was the first on the line asked them why they weren’t going to the back of the line. One of the three of them now decided to talk. Lord! I don’t know if she was speaking English, Swahili or Igbira. She was trying to explain that she bought her ticket since but she went to buy something else and blah blah blah. I was just there laughing. When she realized that it is like she is saying rubbish, she kept quiet. My friend was now gisting me of two girls that fought with a guy at the bus stop while they were waiting for the bus a few weeks ago. I laughed till I almost started crying.

Eventually the bus came but the driver decided that he wasn’t going to pass the route that I had to stop at. They asked me to wait for the next bus but I was already too irritated after standing and waiting for about twenty minutes or more. I opted to sell the ticket that I already bought. I went to the madam selling tickets and asked her to give me my money back since they were not taking my route, she was giving me cool story. I just decided to sell the ticket to one of the people that were shouting that she should give them tickets so that they can enter. Do you know that none of them agreed to buy my ticket? I don’t know if they thought that the ticket was photocopied or something. They preferred to give the woman the money direct and buy the ticket from her. I was so pissed! It is not like I was far from the woman o, I was just beside her so of course they knew it was genuine. I finally snatched someone’s money and gave the person the ticket and walked away in better anger.

I eventually entered the bus that I am used to. The traffic that was on the marina bridge was beyond my understanding. We were there feeling sorry for ourselves when we started hearing sirens. The people in the bus started begging the driver to pull over because the army car was for a two star general. I just shook my head. If it was an ambulance that was trying to pass, nobody would have cared but because an army general was passing, we could fall off the bridge. Sad something.

I started hearing the sound of bones being cracked. I turned and saw that one baba had eaten a full blown meal in the bus. I was nauseated! How will you eat when dust and all what not will be entering the food? I kept quiet and endured the smell of food plus sweat and all until I got down. As I was walking along the road, guess who came driving by… yes! the two star general again. This time, cars climbed slabs so that the oga boss could pass. mtchew! I thought I heard a while ago that sirens were banned?

I finally entered the last keke home and as I was waiting for the last passenger, a guy came to the side of the keke and started begging. The next thing I knew, the old woman beside me started shouting and insulting the guy. It was too funny. I did not even understand half of the things she was ranting about in yoruba. I burst into laughter when the beggar started apologising. I am sure that the guy was wondering why the mama decided to take the matter very personal. I later found out that she was angry that an able bodied man was begging. It is in Lagos that you will see orisi orisi.

I got to work on Tuesday and my friend told me that those two girls,ladies/females that jumped the queue fought with a guy when they got down from the bus. He said that he now recognized them as the fighters he was gisting me about the day before. I asked what cause the fight. He said that the guy was on the bus stairs and the driver did not want to stop. He slowed down for them to get down and the boy was wasting their time. From inside the bus, one of them started pushing the guy down. The driver eventually stopped and they took the blows and slaps down. One was fighting and the other was pulling her from the fight! Hahahahahaha….. there is absolutely no joy in this zanga

I have typed plenty today o….chai! Ehen!!! I heard that your president has put a ban on kpomor. I hope that baba is okay oooo. I don’t eat it but I sympathize with those of you that do. Have a good evening darling. God bless you.

PS- Kindly read today’s post here in case you missed it.

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About the author / 

Patrick Jennifer

My name is Patrick Jennifer............ Talkative extraordinaire (aspiring OAP), Professional 'carer', Wanna-be writer, and I am sweetness personified.

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3 Comments

  1. elsieisy September 10, 2014 at 5:20 pm -  Reply

    Pele oooo.
    Lol
    How body?

    • shughar September 11, 2014 at 11:52 am -  Reply

      e dey dress o. lol…..eshey

    • shughar September 12, 2014 at 10:12 am -  Reply

      lol…… thank you jare

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