Ehen…una weldone o.
Shoutout to Shughar. I’m glad to share my aproko gist on my favourite segment of this blog.
Eko oni baje o!!!!!
Before I share this amebo, there are three things you should know about me:
1) I hardly go out. I’m more of an indoor person and I would rather step out when its extremely necessary or it adds to my bank account.
2) Going out has to be in comfort but for days I can’t afford the comfort or I think its not very necessary and days I couldn’t get any sweet heart 😉 to pick me, I would be left with no choice than boarding our normal public transport and that is after careful selection of the one I would enter. No rushing! Life na jeje.
3) My earpiece is part of my accessories. The major accessory sef.
So on this faithful monday morning o, I had a doctor’s appointment for 10am (don’t ask me if I’m sick biko, as a woman you gotta be sure all your engines are working fine you know). On my way o, with my earpiece plugged in, I boarded a car drop from ogba to Dopemu. Me in my own world, with my earpiece still plugged in and reading through shughar’s blog, coincidence right? I was try to read QURONMA. I just saw a moving figure. I had to look up to see the driver waving his hands. I unplugged the earpiece to hear if a song was playing or perhaps a sermon but nothing.
The man kept waving his right hand while handling the steering with his left hand.
I looked at the man by my right, looked at the one by my left then looked at the one sitting in front with him. At that point, just an ear was plugged. I paused the song to understand what was going on. The driver stopped waving and started again after some seconds. The man by my right then broke the silence.
“Oga wetin be this wan wey u dey do na? Dem send you?”
Driver responded and said “I dey thank God”.
My belly just turned a bit, like what is wrong with this wan. As if the man by my side read my thought he asked him again, “so you no know say u go do all this wan before u carry passenger abi na juju u dey do? Shey na only you dey serve God ni? Why are u suddenely waving your hands when we are almost about to get down. What nonsense”
Oga prayerful driver went straight to the next agenda of the ride – “oya make una bring una money”
Your dear girl was still mute and watching moves o, I brought out my own money – #150. Good thing was, I won’t be needing any balance. As a bad girl, I made sure I didn’t come in contact with the driver o, not even to give him money. I gave the guy sitting beside me who had #500 with him so he would pay for two. I still sat, bone, dey watch.
Then the guy on my right brought out 200naira, and started praying on the money. “Oh lord, I sweat and made this money, as I pay this money nothing will happen to me, I cover myself with the blood of Jesus, holy ghost fire, in Jesus name. Amen” na so I burst laugh. Mehn! I couldn’t laugh enough.
My dear, I finished earlier than I expected so I decided to bring an appointment slated for tuesday to monday so I can either have a free outing day on tuesday or just fix something else up. I called up my boss and I was lucky enough – he was in the office.
Na so I enter ikeja bus o. As I got to my bus stop, about getting down, One man abi na boy slid into me and brushed my breast to go down. I looked at the boy and asked him, oga pls are you okay? He started with “aunty ejo emabinu, no vex.” I just hissed and walked away. I can’t even begin to imagine what prompted him to act that way.
As I was walking into ikeja proper, a man landed in front of me from no where and started his own. “Baby, u be like mami water, e be like say u be mami water plus ogbanje. U too fine! I never see you for this ikeja before, u too fine. U dey come ikeja?!”
I was weak, I just smiled, told him thank you and walked away. He went on with his shouting “aaaaah! Omo gidi ni, she even talk thank you. Better pikin. Fine geh. The ones wey no fine now no go talk thank you……” He kept talking till I couldn’t hear him anymore.
My dear shughary people, na so I take waka today o.
Written by @elsieisy
Thank you very much Elsie for sending this in. I laughed more than you can imagine. You really had an eventful morning.
Hey, you, my darling reading this. Yes, you 😀 How are you? Hope your weekend was good….mine was splendiddd. Hope your day was fine too. Elsie has done my job for me; I am grateful. You can also send in your stories o…in fact, please send in your stories. Thank you very much.
Have a fruitful week….mwah :****
P.S- kindly read today’s post if you haven’t.