Choosing a partner: twitter series by Pastor Bolaji Idowu

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Hey dearies. How are you doing? A while ago, my church had it’s relationship month and I was not exactly regular so I couldn’t write a synopsis (covers face). I recently found out that the church’s website had posts on the topic so I thought to share. Enjoy.

Hi friends,

Thank you for joining us today on another episode of #adamandeve. We are discussing Choosing a Spouse.

Firstly, thank you for the retweets, questions and comments! Please let’s keep tweeting & praying for #BringBackOurGirls.

On choosing a spouse, vision is vital, vision will determine if with time you will drift apart or become closer!

People over emphasis feelings and love in choosing a spouse and understate logic and current realities! This is foundation for failure.

It takes more than love and attraction to make a relationship work! There are certain key realities that destroy relationships!

Who you marry will determine the direction of your life, for good or bad!

Who you marry will contribute significantly to the success of your marriage! A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

The second thing to look out for in choosing a spouse is : VALUES : Do we share similar values?

Value is the belief of a person, in which they an emotional investment. Values shape our perceptions and decisions.

We often hear, that opposite attracts!So true, but similarity sustains. When opposite attracts, same qualities becomes annoying overtime.

In choosing a spouse, u need to ask vital questions, do we share similar values in finances, family, life, religion etc.

Values reflects in priority and communication! A clash in values is often interpreted as disrespect and insensitivity.

Most often relationships that succeed have more similarities than differences! We find different interesting,but familiar comfortable.

Don’t make permanent decisions based on temporal feeling! When people change,their values hardly change.

When you notice a value you can’t tolerate, the best thing is to discuss it and make adjustment , not day dreaming it away.

If you are not comfortable,to be yourself with your partner, there is a fundamental value problem! U can’t survive ACTING in a relationship.


Another key thing to consider in choosing a spouse is: friendship ! Are we really friends?

the main purpose of marriage is friendship, phases & seasons will come in a relationship, but friendship will keep it together.

Are there signs of great friendship? Yes! are you free with the other? Do you find yourself hiding a lot from your partner?

Do you have a genuine non sexual feeling of missing this person? Are u vulnerable with each other? Do u feel a need to impress the other.

Another key factor in choosing a spouse is: counsel; what do the key authority figures in your life think about this.

Key authority figures will include your parents,mentors,family,spiritual leaders etc as the case depends!

Am a bit old school, but I believe in the midst of sound advisers, we make better decisions!

As a matter of fact, if all authority figures in your life are uncomfortable with the relationship u are in, you might want to reevaluate.

Am not saying they are 100% right! just a reason to look over the whole thing! more carefully.

As we conclude today, marriage is a lifetime, you can’t fake it all thru life! Marry someone that shares similar value.

I know of a couple that are married with a decision not to have kids, If this is not a shared value, can u imagine d frustrations involved.

people change but their values don’t really change, when you put values first, your chances of a great marriage is higher!

Thanks for reading,

You can ask questions or send in your feed backs!

Don’t forget to share with friends too.

#adameve is a twitter series by Pastor Bolaji. It holds every Thursday from 4:30pm to 6pm

pastor B

Follow @pastorbolaji and @harvesrtersng

QUOTE: “The best place to find love is in the ‘friend zone’ “ – Pastor Bolaji Idowu

Don't keep it all to yourself.... Share some sweetness!! ;)

About the author / 

Patrick Jennifer

My name is Patrick Jennifer............ Talkative extraordinaire (aspiring OAP), Professional 'carer', Wanna-be writer, and I am sweetness personified.

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  1. Abiye June 6, 2014 at 4:23 pm -  Reply

    Hmmmmmm.. so so true! and so good.. thanks for sharing dear x

    • shughar June 9, 2014 at 12:26 pm -  Reply

      thank you darling

  2. arnytah June 6, 2014 at 11:54 am -  Reply

    True tallk

    • shughar June 6, 2014 at 12:05 pm -  Reply


  3. elsieisy June 6, 2014 at 11:14 am -  Reply

    nice one. brief lines but very broad wisdom behind it all

    • shughar June 6, 2014 at 11:41 am -  Reply

      yes o :D. Thank you

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