Relationship

Adam & Eve Series: DESTRUCTIVE HABITS IN MARRIAGES&RELATIONSHIPS

3 28

Habit is a routine of behavior repeated regularly & tends to occur unconsciously. Something done often in a regular/repeated way.

Welcome to today’s episode of #adamandeve. Don’t forget to invite your friends to follow the conversation.

Are we ready?

Habit is a routine of behavior repeated regularly & tends to occur unconsciously. Something done often in a regular/repeated way.

Please note unconsciously, and repeatedly, until it is done repeatedly, it doesn’t qualify as an habit.

Relationships/marriages answers to what you put in. The quality of your relationship/marriage is a product “investment” into it.

If you complain that your spouse is nasty, and you choose to INVEST nastiness in return, you’ll get the nastiness in folds.

Destructive Habits

  1. Domineering attitude: This type of person tend be overbearing, controlling and likes to Lord over the other.

This behaviour often creeps unnoticed into a relationship, as initially it can appear to be caring and romantic.

For instance, a controlling man/woman may choose something from a menu for their partner which could be seen as a romantic gesture. However, if someone always insists on choosing, whether their partner likes the choice or not, this is no longer healthy.

Living with a dominating spouse can be frustrating. Especially when you love the person and separation is NEVER an option.

A spouse who loves to “lord” your life is insecured. This behaviour can often turn abusive and troublesome as time flows.

Wife says to Husband. Honey can we go by 4pm? Husband replies Why? For what? No we go at 3! This attitude destroys relationship.

This attitude makes the partner withdrawn and often bitter. They feel that they don’t have a say in the relationship.

How do you cope if you have a domineering spouse? Key factor is Patience. Patience is key to a balanced relationship.

This means being able to keep your cool in tense situations and maintaining a courteous behaviour towards your domineering partner.

Showing your spouse this calm behavior has also a great chance of influencing your partner.

NEVER fight back or be domineering in return because your conflicts will only get worse if this happens.

A domineering behavior can make the other spouse feel unhappy, inferior . In this case, communication is very important.

Let your partner know how you feel about his attitude towards you and in your relationship spell it out subtly and calmly. Make him or her realize that you are a team and no one is or should be powerful over the other and assure them of your support.

A team means working together to achieve goals and not competing against each other.

See a counselor if need be. Contrary 2 what some people believe,this option should not be last resort to solve marital problems

  1. NAGGING; To scold, complain, or find fault constantly.

Any spouse that complains all the time, always and daily has something to complain about is a nagging spouse.

I hear the men saying but it’s a woman’s thing! True, but we have men that nags too. They always complain, never satisfied.

A nagging spouse believes that her happiness depends on others. She wants people to obey her commands, grant her every wish.

A nagging spouse is always in compare and contrast mode. Her spouse is compared to her friend’s husband internally/verbally.

In her head, her man is the worst compared to others. She forgets easily that he is human and has limitations.

How to deal with a nagging spouse? Can it be better? How does nagging affect our relationship and more?

Join me next week.

Do you have any question? Ask!

#adameve is a twitter series by Pastor Bolaji. It holds every Thursday from 4:30pm to 6pm
Follow @pastorbolaji or @harvesrtersng retweets.

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About the author / 

Patrick Jennifer

My name is Patrick Jennifer............ Talkative extraordinaire (aspiring OAP), Professional 'carer', Wanna-be writer, and I am sweetness personified.

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3 Comments

  1. Beekay September 19, 2014 at 8:25 am -  Reply

    Nice right up, please keep it up. I have a question. In a relationship where both parties are very opinionated, how do you find a balance in opinions without necessarily having constant friction?

    • shughar September 19, 2014 at 9:51 am -  Reply

      hmmmm… i will forward this question to the professionals to answer before I add my bit. Thank you

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